“THE INCONVENIENT TRUTH” – CHAPTER ONE
Completed in 90,000 words, The Inconvenient Truth is a thrilling spiritual fiction that is yearning to be published and placed on the bookstore shelves, alongside Herman Hesse’s Siddhartha.
What starts out as a tremendously benevolent effort to avert the nuclear war between Russia and the US over the largest gas reserves in the Persian Gulf unite the humankind, the Convention on the Secret of Divine Civilisation gradually becomes a devastating initiative that threatens the mere existence of the United Nations. The convention’s aim is to acquire a unifying world constitution from Isa Iri. However, his idyllic life on the picturesque island of Cisroc ends when his country immerses into an ethnic war and his Muslim mother splits up from his Orthodox father. Isa suffers a nervous breakdown, whereby hysterically, he condemns God and the human race, prompting social unrest across the world. Faced with ultimatums from seventy-two countries to discontinue their membership, the UN looks likely to abolish this Convention at its next General Assembly session. Six months ahead of this crucial event, Isa experiences enlightenment, revealing profound insights into the way hatred infiltrates us and oppresses our adeptness to be happy.
This mesmerising story based on my bipolar experiences will instigate a thorough appraisal of your preconceived assumptions about happiness, freedom, democracy, religion, God, heaven and hell.
Humankind is at it again, doing what it does best – fucking everything up.
Forty-three years ago, the United Nations, (the United Nutcases to sane people), instigated this marvellously obscene idea, worthy of a Nobel Prize for stupidity.
Following effective negotiations between China, Russia, UK and EU, Iran began its civilian nuclear enrichment program, exceeding the initially agreed caps, which triggered an immediate response from the US President, who threatened Iran with military action” “From the originally agreed 3.67% uranium enrichment level, Iran has now increased its capacities to 36.75%! Iran will soon be capable of producing its first nuclear warhead. My message to Tehran is clear. We are committed to making the world a safer place, and unless Iran immediately stops its uranium enrichment program, the US and our allies will!”
Within two days, the Kremlin hosted the leaders of Iran, Russia and China. They issued a joint statement, warning the US to back off. At a press conference, the Russian President accused the US President of spreading inflammatory fake news, adding, “For Iran to develop a nuclear warhead, it needs enriched uranium of at least 90%, and we made sure that Iran’s enrichment capacities of 40% are well below that! China and Russia will not allow another violation of international laws, and we’ll protect our ally Iran from any foreign military aggression.”
The next day, six Chinese and fourteen Russian warships, including four nuclear submarines, one of which had the Iranian President on-board, sailed towards the Persian Gulf, prompting the US to call an urgent meeting of the UN Security Council. China and Russia declined. The President of China tweeted. “For a very long time, the big five acted as Gods, determining the fate of smaller countries without listening to their voices! The UN security council will reassemble at the next UN General Assembly session in September after the voices of all UN member states are heard!”
Since their anticipated UN Security Council meeting didn’t happen, the White House assembled the leaders of NATO member countries at its Headquarters in Brussels to discuss the next course of action on Iran. After intensive talks, the leaders of NATO member states could not agree on an allied military action against Iran. Besides the US, the UK and five new member states, the remaining ones refused to engage their forces in a military conflict with Iran.
Meanwhile, the Iranian President disembarked on the Iranian soil and headed to address his supporters at Azadi Square. Clenching the neck of the black microphone with his right hand, the Iranian President thanked its allies for defending Iran’s sovereign right to provide electricity to its citizens. He paused briefly, holding a copy of a Holy Quran above his head. As frenetic chants Allahu Akhbar broke out, the President kissed the holy book, opened it, and then read out the verse Al-Qur’an 4:135, ”O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even if it be against yourselves, your parents, and your relatives, or whether it is against the rich or the poor!”
Wild roars of rage ensued, much louder than the previous time, repetitively crying out Allahu Akhbar. The President stretched out his left hand, towards the crowd, appealing for calm. Once the religious delirium ended, he added, “I would like to appeal to the world, and in particular to the American people, to respect God’s will by preventing their government from attacking Iran. We don’t want war and I’m sure this is the wish of most Americans too. I urge the American people to rise against the imperial thirst of the US government for the liquid energy resources of other nations and-”
Marg bar Āmrikā, Marg bar Āmrikā,… The Iranians began their traditional chant, wishing death to America. Once again, the President appealed for calm, his voice booming from the speakers, “Please! Please!…”
Once the crowd quieted down, he continued, “We don’t want death to anyone, including the American people! What we want is for the people on this planet to stand up against another US aggression. The entire world should know that if America attacks Iran, their action will not go unpunished with grave global consequences for the entire world! We might not be able to defeat the US military.” The President paused briefly and then upping his fist, he shouted, “BUT, WE CAN, AND WE WILL DESTROY AMERICAN ECONOMY BY ANNIHILATING-”
At this moment the entire crowd broke into hysterical repetitious shouts, Death to America, complemented by the heavy stomping of their feet. Some were burning the US flags, others ripping the printed pictures of the US President. Surely, a US drone flying over them dropping the lovely US$ upon them would instantly end an orgasmic ejaculation of their overwhelming hate for the US.
As the US hating delirium faded out, the Iranian President proceeded with his speech, “My message to the world today is the following one, please help us to refrain the US from another Muslim bloodshed. However, if the world no longer cares for the Muslim people, Iran has no other means to defeat our enemy, but to create an environmental catastrophe by annihilating all the region’s oil reserves, Iran’s and those of the neighbouring countries! Muslim blood was spilt over our lands because of our oil. Since the depletion of our oil is the only way to protect the Muslim people from another American occupation, then Iran will not hesitate to embark on this holy mission of destroying all the region’s oil reserves!”
To protect the oil wells of Saudi Arabia and Qatar from a possible attack by Iran, the US and the UK sent out 32 battleships in the Persian Gulf and stationed them along its southern coastline. Although the speech of the Iranian President didn’t lead to the obliteration of the region’s oil wells, it flamed up the price of oil, because everyone was rushing to buy and stock oil. Within four weeks, the value of the US$ rose by 15%! Following extensive and heated debates in Vienna, OPEC increased the oil output by thirty per cent, and US$ gradually deflated to its value before the infamous Azadi Square speech. Although crammed by biggest battleships on earth, the situation in the Persian Gulf remained relatively calm. Then, some Iranians, who probably watched too many Hollywood action films, attempted to kidnap the personnel of the US Embassy. They failed to complete their mission impossible, because Iran’s Republican Guard intervened, wounded five, and arrested the other nine, who later on, ended up being prosecuted for being American spies.
Another US attempt to endorse a new UN Security Council resolution on Iran failed because China and Russia again declined to attend another UN Security Council meeting. The Russian President issued a brief statement, “The world leaders will soon gather at the forthcoming UN General Assembly session in New York. Only after the voices of all nations are heard, we’ll meet at the UN Security Council and decide on future steps to resolve the Iran crisis. In the meantime, I urge Iran and the US to refrain from action that could threaten world peace!”
Following this statement, the verbal war drums echoing from Washington and Tehran got their well-earned break. It didn’t last long, though! Heated debates ensued at the next UN General Assembly session. Once the Iranian President tortured the mikes at the General Assembly with his hoarse voice, lamenting the end of the world as the only defensive means against the US aggression! According to him, neither the US nor the world population has done enough to demonstrate their support for Iran’s holy right to decide over its fate.
For fuck’s sake! This guy must be allergic to microphones or cameras, triggering a severe brain malfunctioning. How does this guy expect to gain the hearts of the world population, while threatening them, that unless they didn’t comply with demands he will deliver an apocalyptic climate disaster? I’ve come across many morons in my lifetime, but this guy probably pushes in the top three candidates for the Moron of the Year Award.
Onto the next contestant for the Moron of the Year Award – the Russian President, who reminded the attending delegates of the cold war and the peace deal between Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev at the Reykjavík Summit in 1985, in a rather angry tone, “Both of them were able to put aside their egos and differences so that we could enjoy a peaceful world. The current US/Iran crisis isn’t about their nuclear capacity! No, my honourable delegates, this crisis is instigated by the world’s largest natural gas reserves, located in the Persian Gulf, which Iran refuses to trade in US$! President Nixon is responsible for the current crisis in Iran because he decided to end the backing of US$ with the Federal gold reserves. To prevent deflation of its currency, the White House forced oil producers to trade their oil exclusively in US$!”
At this point, the US delegation stood up and left the General Assembly Hall, followed by their counterparts from the UK and Saudi Arabia, but this didn’t seem to bother the Russian President. He resumed reading and no longer appeared upset, but raging with anger, shouting out his words in a similar way an army major addresses his soldiers. “The White House is well aware that the world’s oil reserves will run dry in 2067, and is now keen to preserve the future value of its currency by forcing countries, such as Iran and Qatar, who have shared ownership of the world’s largest gas reserve, to trade their gas in US$ too! If the White House thinks that the Kremlin is just going to sit and watch them, as we did in Iraq or Libya and instigate a war in Iran, then this will be a costly mistake with severe and irreversible consequences. Our failure to act will destroy the Russian economy. If the US intervenes in Iran, then the Russian people will have only two options, die from hunger or die in a war? If the US makes even the slightest attempt to impede Iran’s sovereignty, then I would like to remind you that Russians are a proud nation, which would rather die in the battlefield than die from hunger! Thank you for listening to the Russian concerns!”
Holy shit, man! This isn’t funny anymore. Those slim microphones protruding out of the wooden speaking stand must be releasing some invisible fume that drives people mad! Death, war, apocalypse, ..?
Twenty or so minutes later, it was the turn of the next contestant for the Moron of the Year Award, the US President who addressed the General Assembly delegates ranting about Iran’s violations of human rights and lack of democracy. He removed his tinted reading glasses, revealing his sleepless eyes, dyed with red lines around his blue irises, as they contacted his audience. In an instant, his face red, so red as if somebody just sandpapered it, before addressing his audience in a furious full-blooded raging voice. “Since my Russian counterpart decided to speak openly, I now feel much obliged to do the same. The Russian President revealed that in thirty years they’ll end up controlling the world’s gas reserves and consequently the world. The US will never allow this to happen! I want to be clear, and I want the world to know that if the Kremlin thinks that the White House will sit and watch them turn into the only superpower that will dominate the world, they are wrong!” He paused briefly to inhale a deep breath and then his words thundered out of long speakers fixed to the wooden walls. “THE US WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO PREVENT THE RUSSIANS IN BECOMING THE WORLD’S PHARAOHS, RULING OVER THE WORLD, AND IF A NUCLEAR WAR IS WHAT IT TAKES TO PREVENT THIS, THEN THE US WILL NOT HESITATE IN DOING SO!”
Most world leaders appealed for restraint and resolvement of the Iran crisis through dialogue. Wearing a light-blue suit, which complemented her striking deep-blue eyes, accentuated by her pale and expressionless face, the President of the European Council emphasised a grave apprehension about the previous World Wars and their devastating impact on European people. “Similar to many countries represented here today, we have also ratified the 1951 Refugee Convention that sets out the binding obligations for protecting those in need. Since its ratification, Europeans have provided a safe sanctuary for them, regardless of their ethnicity, race or religion. We pride ourselves in dutifully fulfilling our obligations that stem from this convention, reflecting our European values and cultural identity. However, we can no longer remain indifferent to the countries represented here, which don’t comply with the Refugee Convention and don’t provide a sanctuary for displaced emigrants upon entering their territories. Consequently, the European Union is at a critical point. Do we adhere to our grandfathers’ ideal to unify the world through the United Nations or our fathers’ vision to unite the world through the European Union? Therefore, to ensure our coherent engagement within the United Nations, this organisation urgently needs to reform itself. While we appeal to all nations to refrain themselves from acts of violence or threats, the European countries will not participate in any military action that will please the imperial appetites of either Kremlin our the White House! We want peace, not war, and to achieve this, we must demonstrate or unreserved commitment towards establishing an independent UN reform task force, which would provide concrete recommendations for overcoming the recent Iran crisis! Considering the imminent threat of another devastating world war looming over us, I urge the General-Secretary to process my request at the end of tomorrow’s session, by asking the UN member states to cast their vote on our proposed initiative. Thank you for your attention, understanding and support!”